Ah, small talk. That delightful social ritual where you skillfully navigate through the weather, weekend plans, or the universally beloved “How’s your day going?” It’s like conversational popcorn—light, seemingly inconsequential, but sneakily satisfying. Yet, beneath its humble exterior lies a secret superpower: small talk can transform your career faster than you can say, “So, how about this traffic?”
Here’s a (mostly) serious guide to how mastering small talk can catapult your career into the stratosphere—or at least the second-best table in the break room.
1. Be Present and Engaged
Nothing screams: I’m invested in this conversation, like making actual eye contact instead of staring at your phone. Active listening isn’t just polite—it’s a trust-building ninja move.
Pro Tip: When someone mentions they just returned from Japan, don’t just say, “Cool.” Instead, channel your inner journalist: “What was the most surprising thing about their culture?” You might learn about Zen gardens and score a lunch invite to discuss travel tips.
2. Find Common Ground
Finding common ground in small talk is like discovering a hidden bonus level in a video game—it’s unexpectedly delightful.
Example: A colleague casually mentions their passion for hiking. Suddenly, you’re swapping trail stories, comparing mosquito-repellent brands, and planning a weekend trek. Boom! You’ve gone from “that one person in the probate department” to “my hiking buddy who understands my struggle with uphill climbs.”
3. Show Genuine Interest
This one’s simple: People love talking about themselves. Your job? Be the conversational hype-person.
How To Do It: Replace generic queries like “How was your weekend?” with “What was the highlight of your weekend?” Not only does this show you care, but it also steers the conversation away from dreaded one-word answers.
4. Balance Talking and Listening
A good conversation is like a good tennis match—equal parts volleying and rallying. Avoid the trap of monologuing like you’re auditioning for a one-person play.
Real-World Hack: If you share your story about the time you accidentally emailed the CEO instead of your manager, follow up with, “Ever had one of those embarrassing work moments?” You’ll hear some hilarious stories and bond over the universal joy of office blunders.
5. Use Positive Body Language
Your words are important, sure. But your body language? It’s the conversation’s sidekick, providing subtle yet vital support.
Checklist: Smile warmly, maintain an open posture (no arm-crossing—unless you’re cold, then you’re excused), and maybe lean in just a bit to show interest. Look like you’re genuinely enjoying yourself, even if the topic is spreadsheets.
6. Practice Empathy and Understanding
Sometimes small talk takes a serious turn. A colleague might share a challenge or frustration. When this happens, skip the urge to offer a generic, “That’s tough.” Instead, show a little compassion.
Example: If someone’s venting about a difficult case, say, “That sounds really challenging. What’s been the hardest part?” Suddenly, you’re not just chatting—you’re bonding.
7. Follow Up After Conversations
Here’s where you turn small talk into a big deal. A quick follow-up message or a casual coffee invitation keeps the connection alive and thriving.
Scenario: You meet someone at a networking event who’s an expert in the latest litigation technology (and you just happen to need an expert for your case). A friendly LinkedIn message saying, “I enjoyed our chat about user interfaces—let’s grab coffee and geek out more!” is all it takes.
Why Small Talk is Career Gold
You might think small talk is just verbal fluff, but it’s the gateway drug to real connections. Engaging in it builds trust, camaraderie, and a reputation as approachable and easy to work with. It’s like planting seeds—every casual chat has the potential to grow into a valuable relationship, collaboration, or opportunity.
So next time someone starts with, “Lovely weather, isn’t it?” don’t roll your eyes. Smile, nod, and dive in. You might just chat your way to the corner office.
About the Author
Chere Estrin has over 20 years of experience in the staffing arena, including executive positions in law firms, litigation support companies, and the legal staffing divisions of a $5billion publicly held corporation. She is CEO of Estrin Legal Staffing, a nationwide staffing organization. Ms. Estrin was founder of the Paralegal Knowledge Institute, an online CLE organization. She publishes the prestigious digital magazine, KNOW, the Magazine for Paralegals, and is the former Editor-in-Chief of Sue, the Magazine for Women Litigators. She is also the author of 10 books about legal careers for attorneys and legal professionals.
Ms. Estrin’s contributions to the legal industry have been significant, and she continues to play an active role in shaping the future of legal staffing and training. She writes the popular,
award-winning blog, The Estrin Report, and has been interviewed by CBS News along with many top publications, such as The Wall Street Journal, Fortune Magazine, Forbes.com, Los Angeles Times, Entrepreneur Magazine, Newsweek, The Chicago Tribune, The Daily Journal, ABA Journal, Above the Law, ALM, Law360 and many others. She has also been a speaker for many prestigious organizations and written hundreds of articles.
As the Co-Founding Member and President of the Organization of Legal Professionals (OLP), Ms. Estrin has guided the association’s development and implementation of the eDiscovery and Litigation Support certification exams (first in the country) along with Pearson Publications, a $7 billion corporation specializing in certification exams and educational publishing. She was also the Education Director designing, creating and executing online, live training programs with an on-call roster of over 500 instructors throughout the world. Currently, she provides webinars on legal career matters for LawPractice and Lawline, two of the largest attorney CLE online training organizations.
Ms. Estrin is a co-founding member of the International Practice Management Association (IPMA) and the Organization of Legal Professionals, composed of a prestigious Board of Governors inclusive of judges, an ABA President, and well-known attorneys. She is the recipient of the Los Angeles/Century City “Women of Achievement” award and recognized as One of the Top 50 Women in Los Angeles. Ms. Estrin has been writing The Estrin Report since 2005 and most recently launched her podcast, “Lawfully Employed”.
Reach out at: Chere@EstrinLegalStaffing.com or visit her website at EstrinLegalStaffing.com.
I think we should be required to take a “Small Talk” class somewhere along the way. Some of us are a bit socially slow and need a little help to pick this stuff up.
I’m in my 50’s and I hate to admit it, but I learned something in this article.
I totally agree with you! The classes we should take!